The most challenging years as a professional are usually the years of big dreams and aspirations. During this pivotal phase, you are driven by an unwavering determination to turn these visions into reality; you are willing to go to great lengths, even to the point of flying a crane, to achieve results and demonstrate your value. In that quest for validation, you may find yourself cultivating skills that you don’t truly need, desperately trying to prove your intelligence, capability, and commitment.
You might even accept a role you never truly wanted, but you took it with the hope of becoming a shining star in the new role or swing into something else when available. You do this in the hope that it will help you retain your high-potential badge. Within a very short while, you quickly understand the dynamics of the organisation, and choose to be a people pleaser, fixated on winning your bosses’ approval and your team’s support as your strategic move to your next promotion or placement.
The War for Seeking Validation and Approval over Authenticity
You are always ready to travel on short notice; your suitcase is perpetually half-packed for the next journey away from home at a moment’s notice. Those long days and restless nights became your norm, and the distance from your family silently weighed heavily on your heart. But your performance and track record soars, giving you exposure at the highest level in the organisation.
The Hidden Struggles of Success
Stress becomes a constant companion in your high-stakes role, which is often hidden beneath the veneer of first-class travel and luxury five-star accommodations. As a senior executive or CEO, you relish the perks of your position, the plush hotel rooms, in addition to the high-profile expedited meetings, and the caffeine that fuels your relentless pace. However, this glamorous façade conceals the realities of jet lag, fatigue, and the mental toll of constant travel. It is time to confront the truth: while your role may come with bright, shiny perks, the underlying stress is real and requires your focus and care. Your thoughts keep you awake most nights, then you start experiencing insomnia.
Over time, when you begin to develop mild health issues and decide to take your health more seriously due to the pressures of work. You suddenly recognise the urgent need to focus on your health, because you need a healthy body to remain a high flyer and top performer. This concern jolts you into registering in one of the exclusive health or golf clubs amongst fellow senior directors, VPs, and CEOs. You are pleased to discover a network of like-minded leaders who are equally determined to manage their stress levels by embracing healthier living by becoming a member of this exclusive health club.
Building Relationships vs. Strategy
Your latest health club “buddies” decided on a trip to an Immersive Wellness & Nature Retreats, followed by the next Formula One Grand Prix, where the excitement of the event, paired with the potential of meeting high-net-worth individuals who could become valuable clients or partners someday, was absolutely thrilling to you. As you immerse yourself in networking opportunities and their potential, your mind whirls with ideas on how to achieve your target, sustain the high-performance expectations of your job, and enjoy the benefits that come with excellent performance to ensure long-term success. You wonder whether these connections are genuine.
The thought hardly disturbs you, because over the years, you have mastered the art of pleasing others, skillfully and deliberately prioritising strategies to earn your superiors’ approval and cultivating genuine affection from your team members. Without a doubt, this delicate balancing act has become second nature to you, helping you to navigate the complexities of leadership with finesse. Yet in pursuing your ambition, you set aside your authentic self, prioritise external validation, and slowly move away from your genuine leadership style.
The Limitations of Hard Work
For the first time in your career, you face the unsettling realisation of becoming redundant due to the company’s challenging economic and financial landscape. Your relentless dedication, hard work, excellent performance appraisal, and approval from your bosses, which once fueled your ascent, may no longer guarantee your advancement in an unpredictable corporate landscape; your upward trajectory comes to an unexpected standstill. You start to wonder how this could have happened to you. Apparently, you failed to apply critical thinking and a strategic approach to your career advancement.
As you reflect on your own journey, I invite you to take a moment to assess where you stand. Are you trapped in a cycle of dedication and commitment without a clear plan to strategically advance your career, or have you discovered a way to lead authentically and while still making meaningful strides in your advancement, even as you put in the work?
